The Long Way West – Mongolia to Istanbul Overland

In Claire Dalton’s The Long Way West – Mongolia to Istanbul Overland, four gloriously unqualified adventurers—Claire, Brian, Lin, and Doug—launch a batty overland quest from Mongolia’s Ulaanbaatar to Istanbul’s dazzling chaos, wielding vodka, optimism, and decision-making skills that’d make a goat question its existence. It’s Top Gear meets Monty Python with a dollop of dubious borscht. After their sandy shenanigans in the Gobi, chronicled in Gobi Diaries: A Tale of Sand, Survival, and Adventure, this tale starts in Ulaanbaatar, where they pile onto the Trans-Siberian Railway. Snacks are guarded like crown jewels, vodka smooths clumsy diplomacy, and border crossings morph into absurd dramas starring stern guards, defiant toilets, and Doug’s underwear-clad bravado.

Doug, the group’s resident loose cannon, steals the show, plunging into Lake Baikal’s icy depths like a deranged walrus, hurtling down a Russian toboggan run with war cries that spook the wildlife, and soaring across Georgian valleys like a gleefully unhinged eagle. Lin, the weary voice of reason, herds her chaotic posse, while Brian, the self-appointed navigator with dubious results, leads them through detours that defy logic. Claire clings to her wits, dodging frostbite and existential crises. From Irkutsk’s haunted hostel—a Cold War bunker posing as lodging—to Krasnoyarsk’s bedsheets that mock physics, they battle Soviet plumbing, Cyrillic puzzles, and pickled fish with relentless sarcasm.

In Azerbaijan, death-trap vans test their nerve; in Georgia, wine flows like ancient lore. Türkiye unveils Kars’s storied citadel, Ani’s whispering ruins, and Doug’s belly-dancing fiasco that nearly triggers a diplomatic kerfuffle. The Doğu Express chugs through goat-strewn hills and bazaar madness, evading ticks, monsoons, and rogue taxis. Fueled by strangers’ kindness—shawarmas from saints, tea from grinning locals—this comedy of errors is stamped with hilarity. Doug’s bizarre rooster obsession and the group’s knack for turning blunders into cherished memories prove travel’s magic: the people, the laughter, and surviving the gloriously bonkers ride.